It never happened

OK so what’s the idea behind this bit? I want to stress at this point that we are all properly trained, assessed and are generally competent people you can trust. We never make mistakes and nothing untoward ever happens.

Having said that under the appropriate levels of duress some of our responders can be forced into admitting the occasional "incident"...... this is where we publicly humiliate them to ensure it never happens again, sorry I mean share the information as a learning point for others.

Lessons taught so far ...

1) Always double check the address
2) If someone says they feel sick




Lesson 1 - Always double check the address you have been given

This incident concerns a responder who wishes to remain anonymous (but we know who you are !!). A category 'A' call was dispatched to a complaint of "Chest Pain".

The address given was on a long road in the town. Turning into the road the responder looked at the first house number he could see, it was over 100 and the address was to a property to with a very low number, duly the responder drove down the road, noting the numbers as he passed. Towards the end of the road was a block of flats followed by a sharp bend in the road and there in front of our hapless college was the house number he was looking for.

Having parked up and removed his kit the responder knocked at the house. Having received no response he tried shouting through the letter box and peering through the ground level windows.

At this point our fella had a choice to make .... 'chest pains' is a potentially really serious incident, it is very possible that whoever made the 999 call is no longer capable of opening the door and is in very serious need of help.

With this in mind our responder made his way round the back of the property and found a back door unlocked, he opened the door a bit and waited to see if there was a dog about to get the hump, after a couple of moments the responder opened the door and shouted "Ambulance service", there was no response.

At this point the responder made his way round the ground floor of the house but found nothing ..... so he opened the front door and made his way upstairs, again shouting "Ambulance Service". At the top of the stairs a very surprised lady opened the bedroom door and just froze. Our man of the moment said (the error of his ways about to become clear to him) 'Erm did you call an ambulance', the lady, still recovering said "No" ..... to which our chap said "is this [address sent to]?", to which she replied "No that is just before the bend in the road"

Horrified and wondering exactly how long a sentence you'd get for breaking and entering our chap apologised profusely and determined to make a rapid exit to find the *actual* address he was sent to.

Unfortunately for him on his way down the stairs the responder was met by the ladies husband entering his house through the front door. It immediately dawned on him how bad this must have looked to the gentleman. It is lucky (very lucky) for our chap that both the lady and her husband were such nice and understanding people, after a brief explanation the gentleman offered directions and let our chap leave with no further delay.

Just to re-assure you all another responder was also on his way to this job and didn't make the same mistake, so our patient didn't suffer any adverse consequences.

We'd also like to thank the nice couple for being so understanding .... we really are most sorry.

To our responder you get a 4 out of a possible 5 stupidity points (at least you checked for a dog)

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Lesson 2 - If someone says they feel sick....

always believe them and assume it will happen at the point you least want it to.

Ok this incident relates to two of our responders assisting the trust in a slightly different role.

Our two chaps were sent to an old people’s home to take an elderly patient with a broken leg into hospital. They found the gentleman in question with little delay and on examination determined that the poor man did in fact have a broken leg.

Now pain is a funny old thing, it can have many effects on people, it can make them breathe fast, it can make them scream and for some people it can make them feel sick, and indeed this gentleman was not unusually complaining of feeling sick, he hadn't been sick, he just felt it.

One of the things that never ceases to amaze me is that when someone sits down to design a building to house old people, and they decide to make it more than one story they must think to themselves "Hmmm, we'll need a lift ... but we had better make it a tiny one, can't think we'll ever have to get something ... ooh lets say the size of a STRECHER in it" ....well perhaps they don't think exactly those words ... but something pretty close I'll bet, in any case the fact is that hardly *any* old peoples homes lifts are big enough for a stretcher.

This meant the only option for getting this gentleman out was to carry him down the stairs on a rigid board to the stretcher awaiting him at the foot of the stairs.

The older (and wiser) responder took the foot end of the rigid board and the younger (soon to be wet behind more than just the ears) responder took the head end. They carefully started down the stairs with the elderly gentleman, who it must be said really deserves all the credit, his actions were perfectly timed, couldn't have been done better.

Essentially the gentleman waited until it was impossible for "rookie responder" to do anything ... once on the stairs the board can't be put down, and then - said "I am going to be sick" masterfully giving rookie responder just enough time to appreciate what was about to happen and the inevitability of it. With perfect timing the gentleman then projected copious quantities of vomit onto rookie responder, onto his bare forearms , which then trickled down into his gloves.

The rookie couldn't do *anything* to avoid it ...... you live and learn huh ?

To our responder you get a 1 out of a possible 5 stupidity points, at the end of the day "sick happens"

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